There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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