I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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