I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
