i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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