we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
