Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
