you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
