theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Is Oprah even human
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
