you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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