He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
