I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
