I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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