I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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