he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
