Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
