i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
