Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
