She's JV to your varsity
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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