Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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