okay pat passed out under dana's car
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
