tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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