Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
