I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
