KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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