the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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