I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
