I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
