the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
