What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
