So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
