Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
