this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
