Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
