I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
