he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
