people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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