I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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