You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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