there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
