What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
