We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
