my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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