The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
