Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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