Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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