redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
