sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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