So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Randomize
