I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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