Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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