Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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