i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
