Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
