Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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