Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
