I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
