Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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