There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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