OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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