ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The best revenge is premature balding
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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