I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
