theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
try to milk me bitch
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
