he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Who died my cat blue again?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
