i already hear my dad disowning me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
