Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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