dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
